Have you ever found yourself feeling sad or down about something and just wished that there was someone, somewhere, who could tell you exactly what you needed to hear to feel better? That was me today.
I was feeling down. A little discouraged even. So, when I took a trip to the bookstore earlier today, I was looking for some encouragement.
I’m all for a good self-love or personal growth book, so I was hoping that I could find one filled with pages telling me exactly what I needed to hear. Hoping that it could somehow give me the assurance that I needed to feel better. To shift my perspective. To make me feel more optimistic.
Sadly, I left empty-handed. I did find some contenders though. I picked up a few that seemed like they would probably be good reads, but none of them resonated with me the way that I hoped they would. And to my surprise, that only made me feel worse.
Later on at home, as I sat with my thoughts and feelings, I realized that a big part of the problem is that I have been allowing myself to think some pretty negative thoughts about myself lately. Thoughts that had me feeling like I wasn’t doing ENOUGH things right. That I was behind in life. That everything was too hard, and I just couldn’t manage it all.
It’s no wonder I was feeling so down in the dumps.
So I did something that I hadn’t done in a little while. I stopped and encouraged MYSELF.
I went to the bookstore hoping to hear from someone to speak to me about me, only to realize that I really needed to hear from myself.
I needed to give myself a little pep talk and reminder that I need to be gentle with me. I had to tell myself that even though I’m not doing anything perfectly, I’m doing my best. Even though I thought I’d be in a different place in my life by now, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. Even though I don’t have everything I want right now, I have everything I need. And everything else will come with time. And despite struggling sometimes in my roles as mom and wife, I still show up every day, I still love (even if imperfectly), I’m still needed, and I still give my very best. My flaws, faults, and imperfections don’t make me any less amazing. And neither do yours.
Sometimes, the person that you need to hear from is YOU.
And not the version of you that only seems to focus on the negative, or feeds you limiting beliefs or thoughts that are counterproductive. But the version of you who actually knows how awesome you are and how hard you try. Because other people can tell you that you’re doing great and that you’ve got this, but if you don’t tell yourself or believe it, then it doesn’t matter what anyone else says or thinks.
And if you’re like me, and you’ve struggled with self-esteem or confidence issues in the past or present, those negative and discouraging thoughts can often come back and try to drag you back to that place of low self-worth and insecurity. And because of this, it’s important that we continue to put in work to affirm ourselves and who we are, on a consistent basis.
So pray consistently about the areas you struggle with. Write notes or scriptures to yourself on post-its, and put them on your bedroom wall or bathroom mirror as daily reminders. Write out positive reaffirming notes to yourself in your journal. Or think positive affirming thoughts out loud to yourself.
Encourage yourself, consistently.
Remind yourself about how far you’ve already come. About how hard you try and how much you do on a regular basis. How you’re on your own path and in your own lane, and where YOU are is where YOU are supposed to be. And how you’ll get where you’re striving to go in time, as long as you don’t give up.
Remember how even when life gets hard, you continue to show up for yourself and others. And even when life knocked you down in the past, you got back up. You keep going. You always keep going.
Remind yourself not only about how amazing you are, but also about WHOSE you are.
Because no matter how you feel about yourself or your life, I can guarantee you that God sees so much more. And He loves us AND has a plan for our lives, so why should we be so harsh with ourselves or put so much pressure on ourselves?
Related Posts:
Give Yourself Time to Get There
How to Let Go of Your Limiting Beliefs and Start Believing in Yourself
Dealing with Insecurity: My Confidence and Self-Love Journey
4 Reasons to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
One of my favorite songs that I grew up hearing in church is called Encourage Yourself by Donald Lawrence and the Tri-City Singers. If you’ve never heard of it, some of the lyrics are:
Sometimes you have to encourage yourself. Sometimes you have to speak victory during a test. No matter how you feel. Speak the word and you will be healed. Speak over yourself. Encourage yourself. In the Lord.
I have always LOVED this song, but it wasn’t until I became an adult that I really understood just how important this is.
You have to encourage yourself through the storms and challenges in life. You need to be your own cheerleader, but also remember that you’re not doing this life alone. Encourage yourself in the Lord and know that with Him, there’s nothing you can’t do or overcome.
Thanks for this post. Sometimes it feels like I am the only one who feels this way, but then I have to remind myself there are others with similar thoughts. Thank you for reminding us about being our own cheerleader. It can definitely change our worldly perspective and our own thoughts and feelings about ourselves. Especially in today’s world.
I feel that way too sometimes. Like nobody else is struggling with feeling confident about themselves or their lives. You are definitely not the only one! And yes! Being our own cheerleaders definitely changes how we view ourselves. Encouraging yourself helps you to believe in yourself. It’s so necessary. Thanks for commenting!
Thank you for this! This is so encouraging! Beautiful and timely reminder 😊
I’m so glad you found it encouraging. ❤️ Thanks for commenting!
Great reminder that sometimes we’re the best ones to give ourselves pep talks! I’m going to remember this!
We really are! No one else knows just what it takes to be us or do what we do.
Thank you for sharing this.
It’s so important that we encourage ourselves especially with all that is happening in the world right now. I always say give yourself the advise and kindness you would give to others!
Exactly! We should show ourselves that same kindness. We deserve it.
Well if this wasn’t the most timely thing for me to read today. Thank you for the reminder. I haven’t been my best cheerleader lately!
Aww that makes me so happy to hear. ❤️ I’m glad that you found the reminder that you needed today!
So true that as women and moms we show kindness to others, but forget to be kind to ourselves. This is a beautiful reminder to treat ourselves with the same care that we treat our family and friends.
Right! We’re often the harshest with ourselves. But we deserve the same kindness that we show others. Thanks for commenting!
I needed to hear this today! Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your thoughts. With the pandemic and everything else in between, it’s easier to feel the slump. And you’re right, we always keep going. Blessings to you!
I’m so glad you found it encouraging. And yes! We always keep going! In spite of everything. Thank you! Blessings to you as well! ❤️
This truly speaks to me!!! I’ve been struggling with confidence lately, which is crazy considering I’m over 50 years old now and I’ve lived and survived soooo much! I have been working on being kind to myself and encouraging myself. Today was a great example. I had a stressful presentation with my manager and all my team mates today. I did a bunch of little things to make sure I was prepared: picked out nice clothes to wear to the office, did my nails this weekend a sparkly red color for Valentine’s Day, listened to very upbeat music on my commute to the office, and made sure I had healthy meals and herbal teas for the day today. We did a great job on the presentation. It went even better than we thought it would!!!
Hi Heather! I think we all go through that up and down cycle where sometimes we’re feeling confident, and other times not so much. But I’m happy to hear you’ve been working on being more kind and encouraging to yourself lately! That’s so good. And good job on all the prep you did for yourself for your presentation. Congrats on it going so well! Keep encouraging yourself! You got this! ❤️