I’m sure that we can both agree that as beautiful as motherhood is, it’s also a lot of work. And there are times where we’ll feel like we’re not enjoying motherhood like we should, or like we used to. We can feel so worn out, so exhausted and pulled in so many different directions that we just want to be alone. We want to quiet the noise. We wish we could clock out or maybe even take a vacation from our kids.
As much as we love our kids, sometimes doing all the things that motherhood requires takes patience and energy that we feel we just don’t have. And this could have us feeling ready to pack a bag and run away at any moment.
I’m kidding. We would never run away. ~wink~
But if you know exactly what I mean, and you’ve been feeling like you’re not enjoying motherhood, here are some tips that I’m hoping will help.
These are things that I do when I’m challenged and finding it difficult to show up like I want to. They’ve helped me to enjoy motherhood more, and feel like a better mom.
1. Make Time For Yourself and Do Things You Love
Self-care is big when it comes to your mental health as a mom. We do a lot and we’re ON almost ALL OF THE TIME. In order to prevent burnout and mommy meltdowns, we need to take time for ourselves to do things we love. To relax and do nothing, to go get our nails done, to read a good book, to binge watch our shows.
We need to do this so that we can Recharge. Reset. Regroup! Sometimes, after a long day, we just need to decompress so that we can mentally and physically be able to do it all again tomorrow.
Because the better you feel, the better you’ll be able to show up like you want to when it comes to your kids.
2. Be Kind to Yourself
It’s so easy to doubt yourself and whether you’re doing anything right. Or to compare yourself to other parents who seem like they’ve just got it all figured out.
But constantly having negative thoughts about yourself when it comes to being a mom, will steal your joy. And they can become the main reasons why you find yourself not enjoying motherhood. Also, those thoughts can overshadow all the things you’re doing right with your kids.
There’s no need to put pressure on yourself to be perfect. Remind yourself as often as you need to, that you’re doing the best that you can, that your kids are loved and taken care of, and that no mom is perfect.
3. Spend Intentional Time with Your Kids
A lot of the time we get so caught up in the service part of motherhood. The cooking, the cleaning, the getting kids ready and out the door. Cleaning some more because the kids have it looking like we haven’t cleaned at all. Snacks, Dinner, Dishes, Laundry. I could go on and on.
We get in these ruts where it just seems like we’re always serving or doing something for the kids, that often times, we forget to actually enjoy the kids. But when we spend intentional time with them, it makes a world of a difference.
When I spend time with my kids, giving them my undivided attention, and doing things that they love or make them happy, it feels like the definition of quality time. I feel more present, I’m attentive, I listen better, and we genuinely enjoy each other’s company.
On top of that, my 5 year old feels heard and loved, and I feel like a better mom. And I also enjoy the time that we spend together a whole lot better.
4. Pray. All. The. Time.
These days I find myself praying more than I ever have.
Sometimes I pray throughout my day. I’ll say a few words to God while I’m washing dishes, and ask Him for strength and energy for the day because the baby kept me up at night. Or I’ll ask God right in the middle of a power struggle with my son, for the words to say and the best way to handle the situation.
You don’t have to wait until you’re alone or until you can pray out loud, or even until the end of the day. You can pray a silent prayer wherever you are, and ask God for help right when you feel you need it. Even just a quick “please help me Lord” will do.
I still find myself getting overwhelmed from time to time because parenting is hard, but prayer takes the pressure off me feeling like I always have to know what to do, or like I have to face mom challenges alone. Giving it to God has definitely given me more peace and made me a happier mom.
5. Get Outside
Sunshine always makes me feel better. Add some trees and a breeze, and you’ve got my kind of day. Getting outside often, whether alone, or with the kids can be just what you need sometimes. It’s nice to just have a change of scenery. To get out and get some fresh air, or to go see some other faces outside of your home. And it’s good to get the kids out too.
So get out of the house regularly and go take a walk, or a trip to the beach or the park.
Sometimes getting outside is all it takes to turn your day around.
6. Set and Accomplish Personal Goals
Our kids are kind of our whole worlds. Our time seems to revolve around them. That can cause us to put our own dreams or goals on the backburner. But when we set and accomplish goals for ourselves, we feel a sense of achievement that’s just for us. It’s success for you as the woman, and not as the mom. And it feels good to accomplish something for yourself that’s not tied to your role as a mother. To have something that’s just for you.
So start making some goals girl, and prioritize working towards them.
7. Change Your Perspective
It’s easy to get so caught up in the to-do lists, the chores, and all the never-ending needs of our kids. So much so, that we can forget the bigger picture. That we’re raising little people. And that they’re trying to figure everything out and make sense of the world. That they need us to guide them through life, and through their emotions. And that they look to us as their examples.
They challenge us, but they’re learning from us every day. And at the end of the day, we’re their safe space and their comfort.
They want our attention, and approval. Our praise, and our love. And they need their mommies.
When we look at it from this perspective, it’s a whole lot easier to have a little more patience, or to lead with love and not frustration.
8. Give Yourself Credit
In the words of Birdman, “Put some respect on your name.” And by this, I mean give yourself credit where credit is due when it comes to all the things that you do for your family. How you make sure your kids have what they need, how you provide for them, and take care of your household. Your role is so important, and your family needs you. And you’re doing amazing, just by showing up and loving and taking care of your kids the way that you do.
For all the things that might even go unnoticed, but you do anyway. Even when your energy tank is on empty, or when you’re contemplating packing that bag. And that my friend, makes you a good mom. So commend yourself for all the ways you hold it all together. Own it. And carry on being the super mom that you are.
There’s no getting around the fatigue that motherhood brings. Or the chores, the to-do lists, the messes, and noise.
And some days are a lot easier to embrace it all than others.
But even though we experience seasons where we’re not enjoying motherhood as much as we’d like to, there are things that we can do so that we can make the most of the moments that we do enjoy.
It’s not always easy being a mom, but at the same time, there’s nothing like being a mom. Our kids make us laugh, bring us joy, and make life that much more special. So let’s have fun with our kids, let’s make time for ourselves, and let’s just take things day by day. That’s how we enjoy the moments that matter the most.