We all experience days where we question how good of a job we’re doing with our kids. We wonder if we’re doing enough. If the time we spend with them is enough. If we’re setting a good enough example.
We wonder if WE are enough.
I can’t even count how many times I’ve felt inadequate as a mom. Perhaps, you’ve felt that way too.
One thing that has been helping me a lot lately is giving myself more credit for the things that I do for my kids, sometimes even without thinking. Whether that be making sure that they have doctor or dentist appointments scheduled. Or being sure to pick up their favorite snack on my grocery run. Caring for them when they’re sick (which seems to be happening a lot this winter). Or just sitting on the couch, being present, watching them play.
I’m trying to acknowledge my efforts a lot more these days also, even though I don’t handle every situation perfectly. I’m giving myself more credit for moments where I paused and exercised patience instead of yelling, or put myself in my son’s shoes to understand why he behaved the way he did.
When I stop focusing on my lack of perfection, or stop dwelling on not having all the answers or how to handle every situation, I actually feel like I’m doing a decent job. One thing I know for sure is that every day I do things to show my kids I love them and not a day goes by where I don’t tell them that I love them.
Focusing on the ways that you show your love for your kids every day, even when you’re tired or would rather be lying down or binge watching something on Netflix. Or let’s be honest, when you wish you could be somewhere else and someone else would do it, but you do it anyway. Those are the moments that should be emphasized.
And I know how easy it is to compare ourselves to other moms we see. The moms on Instagram who look like they have it altogether. Or even the moms we see out and about who look like they have the most well-behaved children, or make motherhood look like a walk in the park.
It’s enough to make you ask yourself, “what the heck am I doing wrong?”
One thing to remember is that you’re only getting a glimpse of their experience. You’re not seeing their struggles. And all moms experience struggles.
If you’ve been feeling inadequate lately, I’d like to challenge you to start focusing on the moments that happen from day to day, and quite possibly wouldn’t even happen without you. Focus on the love and security that your kids feel because of YOU, and how they know that they’ve got someone that they can always count on.
And focus on your efforts, and even your progress as a mom. The changes you’ve made, or are working on making to be the best mom you can be.
We both know that you are doing the very best that you can when it comes to your kids. And you do A LOT! So give yourself more credit.
What you give and provide for them is so special. And there is absolutely nothing inadequate about that.
