Do you remember how fun and exciting it was when you and your husband were dating? How much of a thrill it was to fall in love? And then want to spend most of your time and attention on this person who just seemed to make your life that much better?
Back then, I used to go out of my way to do nice things for my husband and make him feel special. I wanted him to know how much he meant to me and I didn’t want to take him for granted.
Fast forward about 9 years, and 2 kids later, and what once felt so effortless and natural to do, somehow became something that was either a struggle to do, or not at the top of my priorities list.
For us, things started changing once we had our first child. Work schedules changed so there was less time for us. And between work and the baby, we were always tired. Then even after the baby was no longer a baby, we still struggled to make time for just us.
Now we have 2 kids, so as I’m sure you know or can imagine, the struggle is real.
I think this is the case for most of us. After years of being married, and welcoming babies, and experiencing life changes and transitions, we can kind of abandon a lot of the things we did during the dating phase.
Things that once came so natural and that we once felt like we had so much time for, now seem to take more effort to do. In fact, we actually have to be intentional about it. And that just sounds like more work, on top of all of the other things that we’re trying to juggle and keep up with.
And it is work, but it’s the good kind. 🙂
Because at the end of the day, we want to enjoy our marriages and make them the best they can be, right?
So that might mean working a little harder to make time for our husbands and remind them how much they mean to us.
My husband and I are still working on being consistent with being intentional with one another, but it’s definitely on our radar more often than it used to be. And we’ve both realized that it’s often the little things that go a long way.
So if you struggle with making time for your husband. Or if you feel like your marriage has lost some of its spark and can use a little more romance or dating phase excitement, my best advice is to think back to the years that you were dating.
Think about the things that you used to do together for fun. How you used to enjoy each other’s company and feel close and connected. How you used to go out of your way to make him feel special. And then find simple ways to incorporate some of those things in your marriage.
And if it’s been so long that you can’t even remember, or if you just need some simple ideas, here are 12 ways that you can continue to date your spouse even after years of marriage.
Related Post: 6 Ways to Start Being the Kind of Wife You Want to Be
1. Show Affection
Showing affection is a sweet way to let your husband know that you still like him lol. It also helps you to feel more close and connected.
So give him a hug and a kiss when either of you leave or get home. Hold his hand when you’re out together, or at home sitting on the couch. Rest your head on his shoulder, or wrap your arm in his when you’re watching a movie. These are simple ways to feel more close.
2. Check In on Him
A simple “Hey how’s your day going” or a “I was just thinking about you” can be enough to turn a whole day around. Just knowing that your husband was on your mind and that you cared enough to check in on him, can make him feel special and valued.
You can also text or call him and tell him you miss him. Or tell him something funny or interesting that happened.
You can call him just to say hi or to tell him that you love him.
Checking in keeps you on each other’s minds and is a way to connect before you two meet back up at the end of the day.
3. Compliment Him
Who doesn’t like compliments? And what husband wouldn’t want to hear his wife tell him that he looks good? Or that he smells good or did a good job doing something? I’m going to say no one. Not one husband.
So don’t be stingy with the compliments.
Let him know you appreciate him. And be sure to tell him when you think he’s looking good too.
4. Connect at the End of the Day
You could catch up and fill each other in on the kind of day you each had. Or just hang out, watch a movie, or something you both enjoy.
It’s nice to make time to connect at the end of the day before going to bed. Spending that time together is like a love recharge, full of comfort and assurance that you guys are in a good place.
5. Do Something Special Every Now and Then
Plan a romantic night in. Surprise him with a special dinner. Treat him to a concert or basketball game or whatever he’s into.
6. Welcome Him Home
There’s such a difference between when I just casually say “Hey” to my husband when he comes home, and when I actually greet him with a hug and smile and tell him I missed him or ask about his day.
So welcome your husband home. Show him you’re happy to see him.
7. Buy Him Things Just Because
Maybe he mentions to you that he needs a new pair of shoes, so you go ahead and buy him a pair. Or you see something in the store that you know he’ll like, so you get it for him.
There’s no need for a special occasion. You can just randomly get him things because you know it’ll make him happy.
And it doesn’t have to be expensive or over the top. You could also be out and pick up his favorite food or snack along the way.
8. Take Interest in the Things He’s Interested In
Spend time doing things with him that he’s interested in, even if it’s not your favorite thing.
9. Take a Trip
I think couple trips are the best. And it can be really relaxing and therapeutic for your relationship when you get away together, and taking a break from your everyday life and responsibilities.
If you can get a sitter, and take some time away with your husband, I highly recommend it!
10. Send Him Pictures of You
I do this when I’m feeling so cute that I feel like I need to be seen! Send your husband a few cute selfies of yourself every now and then with a sweet or flirty message.
11. Sit Next to Him
This probably sounds really basic, but there have been so many occasions where I’ve caught my husband and I sitting on opposite sides of the couch or the room when we’re watching a movie, or even talking. And it’s fine to have some space, but not all the time.
So sit next to him on the couch, at a booth at dinner instead of across from him, at the dinner table. That closeness will actually make you feel closer.
12. Go On Dates
This is literally THE way to continue to date your spouse. Make time to go out. Catch a movie, go to dinner, plan a picnic. Just have fun doing something together, with just the two of you.
Making time for your husband, and making him feel special and appreciated in your relationship, doesn’t have to be over the top, expensive, time-consuming, or a chore. These are just a few simple ways that you can continue to date your spouse and keep the romance going.
What are some ways that you’ve managed to continue to date your spouse after years of marriage? Or what are some things you might want to start incorporating from this list? Let me know in the comments below!